Jack Opus, Andy H, Mr. Shanks and Timmy Dutch are all lined up to whet your appetite and deliver extra helpings when needed, so don’t think you won’t get your fill. Oh, and it’s only £4. That’s less than I pay to get my chimney swept.

You’d better come. What else are you going to do? Lie in your hammock and hug what’s left of your emaciated body? You look like somebody’s filled a sack half full of duplo and painted it pink. Get out there and do something worthwhile!

More info on Facebook. Do it.

Threads vs Suckerpunch – DQ
Not packed with the usual big names associated with Suckerpunch, but still shaping up to be a night of musical debauchery capable of ushering in the decade with a bang. Andy H, Mr Shanks, Timmy Dutch, O’hara, Deano, Woodhead, Vanhessa Fruits Longley and Clipoard comprise the line-up, so I’m sure there will be enough aural variety to accommodate everyone. More on Facebook. £7 advance, £10 on the door.

Kabal – Earl of Arundel
At its usual home, the Earl of Arundel on Queens Road, Kabal boasts “8 DJs, 2 MCs, 2 intimate rooms, 2 spacious bars, 1 courtyard and 500 Sheffeel munters at a location near you”. The line-up is secret and will only be announced on the night, so it’s all about faith in the brand with this one. £15 advance, limited £20 tickets on the door. More on Facebook.

Mad Hatter’s Ball – Corporation
It may officially be the festering wound of Sheffield’s nightlife, but Corp actually has a fairly decent night planned for the inauguration of 2010. Dubcentral, Feedback, The Junglist Alliance & Dark Crystal all came together in 2009 to form The Mad Hatter’s Family and their new year celebration comprises 3 massive rooms of dub, drum & bass, dubstep and other musical delights sure to vibrate you into the next decade.

The line-up includes all the residents from the crews mentioned above plus some extra talent from the likes of DJ Youngsta, DJ Fierce and Audio. Couple all this musical rapture with some monster rigs (e.g. Jah Tubby’s soundsystem) and this one is looking huge. £12.50 advance, more info is available over at Corp’s official site.

New Year’s Eve Old Skool Rave – The Steel City Experiment
I don’t know too much about this one, but it’s a free rave in a warehouse and they posted Awesome’s 3 classic rave anthem ‘Don’t Go’ on their Facebook page — which is fucking awesome — so I guess it’s worth a look. You’ll have to piece this one together yourself, hit it up on Facebook.

Shuffle vs Jump Around – Plug
Shuffle vs Jump Around with a circus theme. Dance like a twat, look like a twat, but have too much fun to care. Fair enough. Tickets are £8 advance, subject to a £1 booking fee. More info is available at Plug’s official site.

Propaganda – O2 Academy
The Cribs’ Ryan Jarman is headlining with a DJ set at this one and, to be honest, I’d much rather see him with his brothers and Johnny Marr rather than on his own slumped over some decks. I find the academy rather vacuous, but I also rinse knives and forks before I use them, even if they’re clean. This one will set you back £10, head over to the O2 Academy site for more details.

I’m sure there’s more going on, but the above options are the ones I would consider. If there’s anything really significant my tiny brain has missed, please drop me a line and let me know before it’s too late!

Whatever your plans may involve, drop the crack-pipe and get your behinds down to DQ, which stands for ‘you haD better come tonight or else your christmas will suck and everyone, even the Queen, will hate you’.

As I mentioned it’s £5, doors at 11. If you’re not there, you officially hate Christmas. Nice one idiot. More on facebook.