The music speaks for itself. I’m lost for words. My tea’s gone cold. If you don’t watch/enjoy this video here then you hate music and therefore life. Self-titled album out in January, new track ‘Ruins’ available as a free download and the band are playing for free in Sheffield this Saturday. Could you ask for anything more? Tailor made, silk-lined, Hefneresque smoking jacket you say? Irrelevant.

Download new track ‘Ruins’ for free.

Buy Portico Quartet tunes at Juno.

Details? 11/11/11 at the University of Sheffield’s Foundry and Fusion. Tickets are £5 advance and I would urge you to get them hand delivered, mainly because the option comes with the promise of “great chat” and I would like to see if they actually have this “great chat” or come up with some kind of Natwest inspired one-size-fits-all natter that makes you realise everyone now has a cardboard heart. I’m pretty convinced they’ll manage to deliver the former and you’ll wake up on a ferry to Tangiers, but I need to test the theory. Anyway, visit Cool Beans on Facebook for more info and look out for me, I might be there. I’ll arrive on a rhino.

Tickets are £10 and as is customary, the venue will be announced 24 hours before the event. Head over to Facebook for more info.

Also, Ben UFO’s ‘Never Went to Blue Note’ just got put up on Boiler Room a few days ago, so have a gander at that when you get the chance.

We went along to the opening party last night and were treated to free beer, DJ sets from Mary Anne Hobbs and Grievous Angel and, above all, excellent photography. Shaun has been documenting the electronic bass music scene since 2005, taking in the rise of Dubstep etc. over here with Rinse and that before crossing the Atlantic and getting in on the LA beat action. ‘Underground’ features, among others: Skream, Benga, Flying Lotus, Gaslamp Killer, Roska, Mary Anne Hobbs, Ramadanman and there’s a sweet shot of some plugs too. If you want to sample the goods, this Bleep blog post will sort you out.

‘Underground’ will be running at Bank Street Arts in Sheffield city centre for another week or so. Shaun and the crew also want to take this exhibition down to London (and beyond) so get involved, spread the love. More and info and prints to buy can be found on the official site. The video below is a trailer for a little film put together for Sonar last year, you can watch the whole thing here.

Shaun Bloodworth: UNDERGROUND
28/04/2011 – 20/05/2011
10:00 – 17:00

www.bankstreetarts.com

Minds Locked Together (Trailer) from BRAINFEEDER on Vimeo.

Liquid d&b duo Brookes Brothers and beatboxer Reeps One finish off the line-up and it’s only £5.50 to get your arse through the door. Surely there’s no reason for you not to come!?

Head over to Facebook for more info on how to get tickets.

DJ Skitz – Dedication (feat. Rodney P)

Buy Rodney P tunes at 7digital.

Tomorrow’s event also marks the first part of a double header which concludes next Thursday with an equally formidable line-up of Untold and James Blake. It’s probably best that you attend both nights because your feeble mind is falling apart in that run-down hazard that you call a body. You need something to invigorate you, you lazy shit. It’s the last bastion of hope for you, my friend!

Uhh…the venue? DQ in Sheffield, decked out with the Funktion One soundsystem. Tickets are £5 in advance, £6 on the door or £4 if you buy one for both nights in advance. I don’t like the technical stuff, head over to Facebook for more info.

Darkstar – Aidy’s Girl is a Computer

Shortstuff and Hyetal – Ice Cream

It’s a good cause and will only set you back £3 if you hold an NUS card or £4 if you’re one of the regular folk. Get down there and don’t forget to wear some earplugs, or stuff cotton wool in your ears…or sawdust, or whatever.

More on Facebook.

Jack Opus, Andy H, Mr. Shanks and Timmy Dutch are all lined up to whet your appetite and deliver extra helpings when needed, so don’t think you won’t get your fill. Oh, and it’s only £4. That’s less than I pay to get my chimney swept.

You’d better come. What else are you going to do? Lie in your hammock and hug what’s left of your emaciated body? You look like somebody’s filled a sack half full of duplo and painted it pink. Get out there and do something worthwhile!

More info on Facebook. Do it.

Tickets are £4 advance, but obviously only £2 if you’re getting two. Doors at 11, and if you don’t know where it is, it’s at Sheffield University’s Fusion & Foundry. More info on Facebook.

Buy Homecut music at 7digital.

Threads vs Suckerpunch – DQ
Not packed with the usual big names associated with Suckerpunch, but still shaping up to be a night of musical debauchery capable of ushering in the decade with a bang. Andy H, Mr Shanks, Timmy Dutch, O’hara, Deano, Woodhead, Vanhessa Fruits Longley and Clipoard comprise the line-up, so I’m sure there will be enough aural variety to accommodate everyone. More on Facebook. £7 advance, £10 on the door.

Kabal – Earl of Arundel
At its usual home, the Earl of Arundel on Queens Road, Kabal boasts “8 DJs, 2 MCs, 2 intimate rooms, 2 spacious bars, 1 courtyard and 500 Sheffeel munters at a location near you”. The line-up is secret and will only be announced on the night, so it’s all about faith in the brand with this one. £15 advance, limited £20 tickets on the door. More on Facebook.

Mad Hatter’s Ball – Corporation
It may officially be the festering wound of Sheffield’s nightlife, but Corp actually has a fairly decent night planned for the inauguration of 2010. Dubcentral, Feedback, The Junglist Alliance & Dark Crystal all came together in 2009 to form The Mad Hatter’s Family and their new year celebration comprises 3 massive rooms of dub, drum & bass, dubstep and other musical delights sure to vibrate you into the next decade.

The line-up includes all the residents from the crews mentioned above plus some extra talent from the likes of DJ Youngsta, DJ Fierce and Audio. Couple all this musical rapture with some monster rigs (e.g. Jah Tubby’s soundsystem) and this one is looking huge. £12.50 advance, more info is available over at Corp’s official site.

New Year’s Eve Old Skool Rave – The Steel City Experiment
I don’t know too much about this one, but it’s a free rave in a warehouse and they posted Awesome’s 3 classic rave anthem ‘Don’t Go’ on their Facebook page — which is fucking awesome — so I guess it’s worth a look. You’ll have to piece this one together yourself, hit it up on Facebook.

Shuffle vs Jump Around – Plug
Shuffle vs Jump Around with a circus theme. Dance like a twat, look like a twat, but have too much fun to care. Fair enough. Tickets are £8 advance, subject to a £1 booking fee. More info is available at Plug’s official site.

Propaganda – O2 Academy
The Cribs’ Ryan Jarman is headlining with a DJ set at this one and, to be honest, I’d much rather see him with his brothers and Johnny Marr rather than on his own slumped over some decks. I find the academy rather vacuous, but I also rinse knives and forks before I use them, even if they’re clean. This one will set you back £10, head over to the O2 Academy site for more details.

I’m sure there’s more going on, but the above options are the ones I would consider. If there’s anything really significant my tiny brain has missed, please drop me a line and let me know before it’s too late!