Not only does he bombard the world with mediocre tunes and clog up music channels with his pudgy bulldog face, Timbaland has now claimed to have created dubstep. Recently talking to Danny Walker from RWD, Timbaland discusses the UK scene as if he somehow conceived it in his super-womb, possibly around the time he incubated Kanye West’s foetus in a nest made of Missy Elliot’s liposuction run-off.
“The UK scene”, he muses, “they’re always telling me that I started it. You have Dub-bass…”. George Lamb — yes, George Lamb was there — interjects at this point asking if he’s talking about dubstep and Timbaland exasperatingly continues “Yeah, dubstep but I call it dub-bass [as the room laugh]. It’s the bass that drives the music. It’s funny cos they went back to some of my old music that really created that sound and just, instead of going fast, they went slow with more bass. To me, I like it but they call it dubstep. I like how they dance to it now, it’s cool.”
So basically, Timbaland reckons he initially created and further inspired dubstep. What. The. Fuck? He thinks that Horsepower, El-B and Oris Jay were sitting about listening to Bubba Sparxxx and Destiny’s Child thinking “How do I make thiiiis?!”. My neighbour’s sausage dog makes better bass than Timbaland when it farts. He’s a lunatic.
The folks that comprise Tinnitus are, in name and nature, long-time advocates of pounding your ears until they bleed. Well, it’s time to give something back and tonight marks their second annual benefit party at The Redhouse in Sheffield. Once again they’re raising money and awareness for the RNiD’s Don’t Lose the Music campaign by bringing you a night of irony laced ear-splitters. This year’s line-up consists of Sheffield’s indomitable Oris Jay, techno champion Mobile Dogwash and Asylum’s drum & bass honcho N-Vision. Residents Sam Tinnitus, Sinista Tek and Distorted Panda are also there to finish up what promises to be a huge night.
It’s a good cause and will only set you back £3 if you hold an NUS card or £4 if you’re one of the regular folk. Get down there and don’t forget to wear some earplugs, or stuff cotton wool in your ears…or sawdust, or whatever.
It seems there is a reason to use Twitter after all. Darqwan (@orisjay) just posted up a heavy new remix of DJ Pinch’s ‘The Boxer’ and I honestly find it impossible to turn down tunes that manage to effectively pull off the cryptic rhythm of ethnic percussion. The bassline is pretty damn brutal too, thrusting itself at you like an aggressive big issue salesman tweaking for his next McDonald’s, which I’m sure you’ll agree, is always pleasant. The only downside is that it’s only a preview, so we’ve only been gifted a mere two minutes of the track, but you’ve got to make do with what you have, right? In Castaway, he makes friends with a ball for fuck’s sake.
Interesting fact: Did you know McDonald’s have a Twitter account too? It’s not even Ronald tweeting. I hate the modern world.
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