Most notably signed to Planet Mu, Slugabed is Gregory Feldwick, a unique producer that originally hails from the proud city of Bath. In his bio he describes his music as “lazer battles in the future” although quickly asserts that “everyone says something like that”, illustrating his tendency to avoid convention. Quirky, irregular and more out there than Mork on LSD, Slugabed’s music is peculiarly charming, rather like disabled animals or crazy old men who flirt with their nursing home carers. If you want it in simple terms, it sounds like someone’s dropped a robot’s bollocks in a blender and I very much like it.

His EP Ultra Heat Treated, a 6 track labyrinth of mangled bass and impossibly sweet synths, dropped in February to positive reviews and everything I’ve heard from him before and since has been similarly mind-bending. If they ever remake Weird Science (with Kelly Brook please) Slugabed should bang out the soundtrack, it’d be sick.

Listen to ‘Ultra Heat Treated’ below and experience a vivid flashback to the time you got fucked by the Mysterons…

Buy Slugabed tunes at 7digital.

The genius of Minilogue lies in their ability to formulate organic yet paradoxically regulated minimal, aligning vast swathes of atmosphere, hooky rhythmic sweetness and eccentric nuance to heart-achingly sublime effect. Their music is a beautiful canvas upon which many producers would love to scrawl and last week saw the release of Remixed, Traum Schallplatten’s 3 track EP comprising reinterpretations of some (well…a couple of) Minilogue classics.

Dominik Eulberg and Freska have both applied their talents to aspects of Certain Things, Minilogue’s first release on Traum way back in 2005. Eulberg’s instalment is melodic and haunting, spectrally drifting through an array of textures, melodies and intricate percussion, adding countless layers of depth and a glitchy, crushed charm. Freska’s effort takes a different turn however and buoys its source material to a jauntier and more optimistic plateau. The bassline and wonky vocals drive it like a sand buggy through a crowded town centre and the beat shines through, unashamedly waving itself in your face.

Dividing the two Certain Things tunes is Max Cooper, the man behind dancefloor banger ‘Wasp’. His effort expertly injects the anodyne beauty of ‘Seconds (Colour & Sound)’ with a dose of energy and movement, arousing the original’s hidden anthemic potential to produce the sure highlight. Relaxed yet uplifting, it conjures images of a stuporous night time stagger in a deserted big city district and the rise and fall of the relentless note towards the end lends it an epic quality that really tips it into the “something special” pile. I think it’s an incredibly beautiful track and were I not such a strong, masculine man, I’d probably get a little wet around the eye area right about now…

Short but sweet, this is a brilliant release which will surely placate all the heads patiently awaiting new Minilogue material. I would urge you to spend whatever you’ve earned in the brothel on this and turn it up really loud. As a wise yet possibly morally corrupt huge corporate entity once said: just do it!

Minilogue – Certain Things (Part 1 – Dominik Eulberg Remix)

Minilogue – Seconds (Max Cooper Remix)

Minilogue – Certain Things (Part 1 – Freska Merged Mix)

Buy Minilogue Remixed at 7digital.

Have you heard the one about Tyondai Braxton leaving Battles? Well probably not because this is no joke. Due to clashes with his own solo work and the band’s desires to tour along with finishing their much-anticipated second album. The official statement on the Warp Records site describes it as ‘a sad but amicable split’. As much as Braxton was the closest thing Battles had to a proper front man I don’t like to think this latest development will damage the quality of the band’s output. If anything, John Stanier will just makes the drums even louder and the quiet guy on bass will lay some beefy lines down on top. Drug reference? Just an excuse to post the video to ‘Atlas’ innit. Enjoi!

Dentists should have this album playing on surround sound while they fuck about with your teeth. Who cares if they eventually get sick of it, I’m having my damn molars ripped out here. There is little to be said about this superb album that hasn’t been said already; even the Telegraph admitted it was bloody brilliant and it’s not often they use naughty words or have a clue what’s going on with people under the age of 52.

The album is made up of tracks right, and those tracks are made up of drums and bass and beeps and twangs and guitars and, most importantly, silence. The genius of Crooks & Lovers, therefore, lies in it’s sparsity and simplicity. At no point during this long player’s relatively un-long exploration of contemporary electronic dance music does a sense of uncertainty or bewilderment ever rear it’s ugly head (Editor’s note: better descriptive words needed here; shame author is retarded). Words are boring so here is the official video to ‘Would Know’. The ‘review’ continues after the drop.

Hold tight, there is more to read »

Check me using ‘The’ like I’m an integral, nay crucial cog in the Ninja Tune machine. I love playing dress-up; ties and stuff. Those cheeky otters over at Ninja Tune keep throwing out awesome treats every week in celebration of 20 years providing us with some of the best damn music ever made. It’s all getting a tad overwhelming. Like some fat kid who can’t catch all the Werther’s originals that his Grandad keeps throwing at him from across the room.

If you’re an idiot and haven’t done got involved with Ninja Tune XX then it’s really about time you pulled your finger out. This Kid Koala mix is really, really, really lovely. I mean top-notch. Prime cuts of spaced-out, trippin-balls, chill bones goodness. No mix that opens with Boards of Canada is ever going to disappoint.

Only potential downside for grumpy grumpers is you have to sign up to download the mix. However, if I remember correctly the last scheme that didn’t involve the ol’ electronic sign up left me one pinkie short of a once-useful right hand. No such thing as a free lunch.

Click here for the Ninja Tune XX homepage and links to the download. The goose is cooked.

Updates have been pretty sparse over the last couple of weeks due to the fact that me, Oldsy and a select few other badmen have been traversing the globe and spreading our bullshit everywhere. Generally Coca Cola representatives have already been and gone, but at least when we’re about we don’t cause litter problems. Normal — sporadic and unpredictable perhaps — service will resume in a week or so and we shall continue to crack our heads against the impenetrable nut that is music. In the meantime, I’m going to slather myself in sun cream. I’m already a bit of a twat, I don’t want skin cancer too.